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Newsletter December 2021

Xie and Philip Xmas card 2021 10x15 min

Dear friends and fans,

It’s that time of year again... to send you our best wishes for a happy and now, of course, above all healthy New Year. These days I feel content to have reached the age of 78 in reasonable health and having lived a full and exciting life, especially when I was a lot younger. In short, I could easily say about the places I always wanted to see: BEEN THERE,  DONE THAT. I will now describe to you some of the most memorable moments and people in my life. That does not mean they are always the most pleasant ones!

To begin with, there was World War II which, in my case, took place in Indonesia as my dear parents were living in Soerabaja, Java, the moment the war broke out between the Japanese and the Dutch. Of course, there were the gas chambers in Europe from which several of my Jewish family members disappeared and never returned: eight of them died in Sobibor. My father, DR. MICK DE VRIES, a well-known medical doctor/psychiatrist and intellectual best friend of one of Holland’s most famous authors, Simon Vestdijk, was of Dutch Jewish parents. My mother was a French/German top mannequin called GERMAINE. I wrote several chapters about them in one of my books, CHILD NO MORE. Because my father had grown up in Java and had met my mother in Holland during a long holiday, they ended up living in Java after getting married. I was born on June 15, 1943, and just three weeks later, the Japanese arrested my parents and me. I was still a baby. My mother and father were then separated for several years in various concentration camps. I remained with my mom in Camp Tjideng, a horrible place from what my mother told me.

The mad lunatic camp commander, SONEI, tortured and/or killed lots of Dutch women, especially during a full moon, and so it was my mother’s turn one day when she had smuggled a bag of sugar into the camp and got caught for it. It was meant to be given to me as I was suffering from extreme dysentery. She barely survived the mad kicks and beatings by Sonei, followed by three weeks in a super hot death house. Once the war was over, we all returned broke to Amsterdam, with very little support money from the Red Cross. My father, who was 15 years older than my mother, literally worked himself to death in the next 20 years as a very busy medical doctor in Amsterdam.


When I was 18, I won an award as the best secretary in Holland and appeared on various TV shows, like the  voor de vuist weg show by WILLEM DUYS. I always liked writing and had been the writer/editor during my high school days of the SPO (Scholieren Pers Organisatie or Amsterdam High school press organization. In the meantime, a lovely young woman, called AMONDI, with her South African handsome husband, JANNIE, had found my father’s address via the Red Cross and came to meet her daddy again. She was the first child of Mick from his previous marriage and was also born in Java and was now living in Johannesburg with three little kids. When I turned 20, even though my father had fallen ill with one stroke after the other, I decided I needed to spread my wings and accepted Amondi’s invitation to go and visit them for as long as I wanted. Meanwhile, my poor mother looked after my very sick paralyzed dad for a couple more years. All in all, I spent about four great years in Johannesburg,  where I worked as a copy writer at a major advertising agency. I lived a pretty wild life without drugs or alcohol,( since I never touched alcohol in my entire life) , but with quite some handsome male lovers and even an occasional lesbian affair.

When I met Mr. Perfect - so I thought - JON WEBER, a handsome super sporty American economist -  and he had asked me to marry him, I decided to follow him to New York. We split up after one year, and the rest can be read in my first instant bestseller book, The Happy Hooker. I worked as a secretary for the Dutch consul in Manhattan and started a side business at night as a call girl to compensate for my meagre salary. When ROBIN MOORE, the already famous author  of a.o. the French Connection , showed up in a brothel I had bought for 10.000 dollars, we wrote the book together, assisted by the journalist, YVONNE DUNLEAVY. As you can imagine, during the promotion tour I got to see quite a few interesting places in the USA. My relationship with that Jon Weber was over, well before the book came out, which I did not regret as he was an economist and very stingy and critical of me. In the next 20 years after the deportation in 1971 from the USA for having written that naughty book, the Happy Hooker, I was glad to leave that period  of massive Police interrogations   during the   Knapp commission police corruption scandal.

I lived in Toronto, Canada for four years, where I married a darling Jewish antique dealer my age, FRANK APPLEBAUM. At one point, I so desperately wanted a baby from him that I tricked him into it. He did not want a child with me as he was scared his orthodox Jewish parents would find out that I was the happy hooker who was carrying their son’s baby. I guess I  somehow got punished for my conning him into making me pregnant. I ended up very very sick in the hospital with what turned out to be an ectopic pregnancy and almost died during the removal of the four-month-old unborn. Ah well ... life went on. I got deported from Canada as well and once back in Holland, still had a chance to see my father, who by then barely recognized me, after he had suffered five strokes. Soon after his dramatic death, I spread my wings again to explore the rest of the world.

And so, I ended up each winter for three months in a lovely Mexican fishing village called Zihuatanejo, not too far from the posh and crowded Acapulco. I soon found the perfect happy bungalow park, las Uraccas, on the beach of Playa la Ropa. There, I fell in love for quite a few wonderful years with ROBERTO SCHLOSSER, a Hungarian twice-divorced, very handsome and most charming  film producer and one time playboy a few years younger than me. He had lived in Mexico City for the last 30 years and, like me, visited Zihuatenejo each year as well. No matter what lover I had taken with me, WE TWO HAD AN ONGOING EMOTIONAL AND VERY SEXUAL SECRET AFFAIR in the afternoons, while  my travel companions were on their long beach walks/swims or having drinks in a bar to watch the sundown. Unfortunately, Roberto died of leukemia two days after I had visited him in Mexico to say our last farewell. We had been in love for about 16 years.

Then back in Europe there were the seven intense and often mad years with JOHN DRUMMOND, in Marbella, Andalusia, Spain. He was an extremely eloquent and well-read 10 year older Scottish man, who had lived in Spain already for quite some time, fit as a fiddle, extremely handy, a great cook, and he loved well-stacked women. He was extremely well built sexually and had an enormous appetite for sex. He lived in a large, but rather primitive Finca (farmhouse) in the mountains near Fuengirola until I asked him to move in with me in my brand new villa in Marbella. JOHN was the ultimate brainbox par excellence. He loved poetry and even wrote me dozens of naughty poems over the years and had read hundreds of great books, but also had a mild alcohol problem. We both enjoyed classical music.


So between Mexico in wintertime, a few months a year in Marbella,  where I had bought a lovely big  villa, and my new house in Amsterdam, the two of us travelled the world. Then, whenJohn  returned to Marbella, and I went back to Amsterdam, I knew he would look after my villa, garden, and swimming pool, as he was extremely handy and loved my comfortable place. We even wrote a horny book about the two of us together, called HAPPILY HOOKED or... what happens when two raving egomaniacs get addicted to each other’s minds and bodies. In between these sabbaticals from each other, we both accepted the occasional sexual escapades with other lovers.

In our book, we also described our lovely travels throughout South America, EuropeGuatemala, Argentina, Brazil, Greece; you name it. We flew wherever we felt like going. And I started to write the Penthouse sex advice column with the name, CALL ME MADAM for the USA and UK, but also for various other countries, where they would sell the magazine. Occasionally, John helped me answer a few of these funny, sometimes sad letters. I wrote that column for 36 years. And BOB GUCCIONE, who I had gotten to know personally as well, referred to me as the longest-running sexologist, who wrote that famous column. So, after that stormy relationship with John ended abruptly, when he moved a fat young, stupid, but very dominating penniless gypsy alcoholic woman called  PALOMA into my house, I quickly went back to Holland as this girl was pure poison, both for him and for me. John Drummond died at the age of 77 of prostate cancer.

Once back in Holland, where I had acquired a handsome, very young and handy Dutchman about 20 years my junior, obviously as compensation for not having a son myself. I also started a lesbian liaison with DIDI, who was Dutch, bright, a bit butch, but with a sweet and witty character. She was ten years my junior and ten kilos lighter than I was as well. She is till this day  a fanatic swimmer and coach for the predominantly male gay swimmers in Amsterdam and is totally involved in the gay scene of Amsterdam. Lately, anno 2019, the new movement started up in Holland, to which I now also seem to belong as a bisexual woman. My portrait by the famous gay photographer Ernst Coppejan and that of dozens other middle aged LGBTQIA persons was in 2021  even exposed in a street exposition that moved from one place to the other in Amsterdam on various squares or streets for everyone to see.

Didi is also a poetess, and we met at a poetry café, MEYER, in Amsterdam. It was love at first sight. Didi is still my best girlfriend today, and we meet each other at least once every two weeks, if not more frequently. However, both the boy, who was my steady partner in Amsterdam for about seven years, and Didi, are now ex-lovers. For the last 16 years, I am happily married to the sweetest Dutchman I have ever met: PHILIP DE HAAN... Not only is he in terrific shape, but he is also a very kind person, who visits hisvery fit  89 year old  mother and his two daughters regularly. He also cooks like an angel. Philip is ten years younger than me, and together, we manage our lovely bed and breakfast called XAVIERA’S HAPPY HOUSE.

Much like John Drummond, he is very much interested in shapely women, so no skinny dieters. The big difference between Philip and John is that Philip drinks barely one beer a day and is totally  faithful to me, while John was into beer, especially after lunchtime, and whisky later on at night and… the occasional big blonde tourist he would meet in a pub. With both John as well as Philip, I have traveled to New York, California, Mexico, Jamaica,  Spain, Morocco and… Israel. Not to forget our visit to Prague where I met what is now one of my most faithful American girlfriends, BRENDA, who married a Czech man and who has assisted me in editing the UK version of my two latest books.

And each year I attended, with whoever was my lover, the fantastic Edinburgh theater festival. There, for 30 years, I scouted for theater plays which I often took back to Holland and Spain. I then produced them in our Marbella and Amsterdam home theaters and also at various official theaters. I did this until I wore myself out and ended up in hospital twice with a light heart attack. I finally had to stop, but kept in touch with most of these fine actors and actresses.

I think dear friends and/or fans: this will probably end up as one of the final chapters in my new book, Wall Talk II - Xaviera’s Happy House, which is ready to be published any time. Yet I will have my webmaster Willem Hein, send THIS AS AN ONLINE NEWSLETTER to each of you. Dear Mail Chimpers, separately, you will get this lengthy text accompanied by some pictures or film clips in your email box.

For your information, a flashback that just popped up in my by now “way past midnight, tired head.” Is the following quote one of my sex colleagues, VERONICA VERA, in New York made about the Happy Hooker when that book had first come out: XAVIERA IS A TRUE SEXUAL EVOLUTIONARY!

Too bad too many darling friends we have, who are above a certain age... men from 55 upwards and women over 70... are suffering from typical health problems like lung- or prostate cancer, heart attacks, hernia, breast cancer, leukemia, Parkinson or MS. And worse, a dozen or so great friends I have known up to 40 years are now dead... none from Corona!!!


P.S.: I forgot to mention a very intense one-year love affair I had with a darling bright American Professor English Literature from New York called CLYDE, who    flew over to Amsterdam during each holiday he had from school. We are grey panthers of exactly the same age... when we met, we were both 60 years young and now we are still great friends and soulmates.

Stay healthy and enjoy life with or without a steady partner and keep an eye out for my next books, Xaviera Hollander WALL TALK I - THE PRUDENT BIRD OF PARADISE and WALL TALK II - XAVIERA’S HAPPY HOUSE.

Xie and Philip Xmas card 2 2021 10x15 min




Stadionweg 17, Amsterdam, Noord Holland - 1077RV, The Netherlands